What are we doing?!
See this wonderfully looking picture???
What you don't see is that Eli is screaming at the top of his lungs and his face is turning red because he is over tired and won't sleep. Ethan is sitting off to the side complaining about having to wait while we do newborn photos. Jesse is missing newborn photos because he is catching up on orders in the shop. I have just taken Emilie back to her mom's house which always makes us sad and feel as if our family isn't whole when she isn't here. And half my leg is wet with baby spit up. In this wonderfully perfect looking picture I am close to the place where I lose it.
Today I am just having one of those moments where I am drowning in shipping orders, tubs full of toys needing waxed, poopy diapers, a sink full of dirty dishes, and not looking forward to the end of the daycare day and the start of 4 hours at the shop while Jesse is home with the boys solo. (I, Stacey, still work at home full time as well watching some sweet and adorable munchkins while Bannor Toys grows into the company we envision it being one day.) Jesse is having one of those days too as he stops at home over lunch with a tub full of new teether designs we've been trying to launch for 2 months that are all sized wrong and have to be re-cut. Silly tasks, like putting Eli's pacifier back in his mouth for the 100th time or searching the shop for a miss-placed ruler, are taking over our life. We never seem to get to the projects that inspire us and the toys we dream of making for the store. Most evenings, as we sit in bed talking about the day and all the plans we are trying to make a reality, struggling to keep our eyes open after a 16 hour work day we get frustrated and discouraged at the amount of things that we got accomplished versus those that still need tackled.
Opening Bannor Toys is a dream coming true for both of us. Thinking about us starting in our basement 3 years ago and growing into this beautiful thriving company still feels unreal most days. I can’t believe we are actually here. Jesse can't believe that we are actually here. That we have actually made something wonderful from the glimmer of an idea we started with. I love my job and the things we do. It is just harder than I admit somedays, especially with our sweet little baby on my chest in the moby wrap as I tackle playing with daycare kids and shipping orders during their nap time.
Jesse and I have always dreamt big dreams, making them a reality has been equally rewarding and challenging. It is harder than we ever imagined, but also more worth it than we could have ever thought it would be. We get frustrated with trying to get it all done, but in the end we are so incredibly blessed to be doing what we love, have beautiful healthy children, and be working for ourselves doing things we are passionate about. We get to spend more time with our kids and as a family, even if its in the shop! We get to work with amazing companies like Bluum, Nordstrom, and Aden+Anais. We get to do what we love and that is worth a bad day every now and then.